


Get Paid. Get Laid. Hatorade.

by lordjenjen



Series: Get Paid. Get Laid. Gatorade. [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: In case that wasn't implied, Kenny is a sex worker, M/M, kenny get laid, seriously this is all its about, sex will be had
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 12:38:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12233010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: Kenny lived by his motto: Get Paid, Get Laid, Gatorade. But sometimes life throws in some hate too.Prequel to "Get Paid. Get Laid. Gatorade."





	Get Paid. Get Laid. Hatorade.

Get paid. Get laid. Hatorade.

 

***

**Get paid.**

What a time it was to be alive for Kenny. He loved his job more than anyone he knew. Some people went to college to do get a degree to do what they hoped they would love. But not Kenny. He didn't have to wait long to start on his career path of sex worker. It had taken a little effort on his part. And as long as he did his taxes and whatnot, he was golden. 

There were different types of sex workers, from high class escorts to private sector, street corners. Kenny however, like to hit up a few apps and Craigslist. Not many people were willing to do Craiglist jobs out of fear and Kenny understood. He had been at this for two years and had died three times due to Craigslist predators, but all three times he had aided in their capture. He considered it a win.

Today was no different. After having no new offers on the app, Kenny opened his laptop and searched for a few gigs on Craigslist. He never pulled more than a few tricks a day and was still making really decent money. Enough to have a one room apartment in not the ghetto of Denver and put aside money for Karen and her college.

Finally a request caught his eye.

_ Looking for male around 5’10, shaggy blonde hair is a must. _

Kenny pulled a tuft of hair. His was definitely getting shaggy and was still blonde. He emailed the person who immediately replied back.

_ Don't care about the front. Send a picture from behind. _

This wasn't the strangest thing Kenny heard, but he did as requested and sent the photo. 

_ You'll do. $200 to come my place at 5pm for an hour. Nothing kinky, just need to get off. _

Kenny lived in a pretty central place in Denver. Depending on where the John lived depended on how long it would take him to get there. Not to mention $200 was pretty standard. He asked the person for their address and realized it was walking distance from him. He'd do it. 

He managed to find two other people. One wanting him to dress as a woman and meet him for lunch and the other was a couple. Kenny didn't judge what people got off to. It was always an adventure exploring what people had to offer. 

***

**Get laid.**

Kenny knocked on the apartment door. His shoulder bag made him blend in with the college students that usually live in this neighborhood. Plus it held anything he could possibly need. He learned early on not to rely on anyone to have basic things like condoms and lube. When no one answered the door, Kenny checked his phone to make sure he had the right apartment number.

The sound of the door opening, caused Kenny too look up. He had to give himself props for hiding his surprise because on the inside he was screaming. 

Kenny put on a pleasant smile. “Hi!” He said little too cheerfully. 

“Of course. Of all the blonde male sex workers in this city, you're the one at my door.”

“Well at least you know you're in good hands.”

“Debatable. Come in. Shoes off.”

Kenny followed Craig's instructions. He noticed a slightly smaller pair of shoes next to what we're obviously Craig's. Kenny briefly wondered where Tweek was. He thought they were living together. He decided against asking, it was way to personal for a client meeting, even if they were kind of friends.

Out of habit, Kenny took in all he could about the apartment, fire exit by the living room window, three doors off the main hall. He didn't think Craig would do anything to him, but he always wanted to be prepared. Craig led him to the farthest door. 

As Kenny was scoping out the room, Craig thrusted a fist full of money into Kenny's chest. 

“$200.”

“Cool.” Kenny said, double checking the amount before stuffing it into his bag. “Since you wanted the back of my head, I guess you want to fuck me.”

“I do.”

Kenny was a little shocked to discover Craig was a kisser. The noirette removed Kenny's bag and set it on the floor before he began to frantically strip the blonde, doing his best to keep his mouth on Kenny. He helped his client undress him before turning to the man and helping him strip. Once naked, Craig pushed Kenny into the bed and started kissing him again.

Craig pulled away for a moment to reach under the pillows. When he came back with nothing, he checked the floor and under the bed. Kenny saw few common sex toys as Craig began to tear apart the room frantically looking for, what Kenny assumed, were sex supplies.

“I have lube and condoms.” Kenny stated. 

“That's cool, but I need latex free condoms. I have specific condoms and lube.

Kenny gave Craig another moment before speaking. “We can always blow each other. I'll even give you a partial refund.”

“No.”

Kenny laid back, prepared to watch Craig look. He didn't want to though, he really wanted this job today. His first client had wanted a blow job and he knew the next one wanted to be fucked. He was looking forward to getting fucked. Kenny’s eyes followed Craig around the room. As he walked to dig through the dirty laundry, Kenny noticed a drawer slightly ajar. 

“Did you check the nightstand?” Kenny asked.

“Why would it be in there?” Craig asked, but pulled open the draw. “Oh.”

Kenny chuckled. “Because normal people put shit like that in there.”

Craig grunted before pulling out a condom and lube. “Whatever.”

Craig re-joined Kenny on the bed. His mouth immediately descended upon Kenny’s. The noirette broke the kiss and patted the blonde's things. Kenny got the hint and moved onto his hands and knees. He heard Craig open the lube and squirt some out. 

“Wow.” He heard Craig whisper as he inserted his finger. Kenny smiled and let out a little moan. He had recently died and came back a few days ago. He was sure Craig was surprised by how tight he was. 

“Are you new to this?” Craig asked as he inserted a second finger.

“God, no.” Kenny moaned. Craig had some nice long fingers. He was a little ashamed that the man was being so gentle. “Just really good genetics.”

Craig hummed and continued his work of opening Kenny up. The room was filled with Kenny's panting and moans. When he began to rock his hips against Craig's fingers, the other withdrew them completely and smacked Kenny's ass. A warm feeling spread through his groin at the sound of a condom being unwrapped. Kenny wiggled his butt a little hoping to tempt Craig. 

Kenny felt a hand pull his ass cheeks apart and knew what was coming. The tip of Craig's dick pushed against his hole with just enough pressure to break through. Kenny moaned deeply as Craig slid into him agonizingly slow. Craig was definitely a lover, not a fucker and once again he wondered about where Tweek was. 

“Fuck, I'm surprised I fit.” Craig said, once fully in.

“I’m surprised too.”

Kenny stilled. Speak if the devil, he thought.

“Craig, What are you doing?”

Kenny was surprised by how calm the blonde sounded. It sounded so off to him.

“Exactly what you told me to.”

“I don't remember saying stick your dick into our dear friend Kenny.”

“Nope. You told me to find someone to stick my dick into and Kenny answered the call.” As if to make his point, Craig pulled out some before shoving his dick back in.

“And when did I say this?”

“A few days ago when I wanted to stick my dick in you.” Craig punctuated his sentence by thrusting into Kenny again. The blonde let out a moan as Craig hit his prostate.

“I see. When I was studying you asked for sex.”

“I asked if I could top sometime, meaning eventually.”

Tweek hummed. “Well, don't let me stop you.”

When Craig didn't move, Kenny turned towards the other blonde's. He was in the middle of undressing. Something was off about this whole situation, but before Kenny couldn't dwell on it longer, Craig started thrusting into him. Kenny wasn't sure he'd ever been fucked so deeply before. What Craig lacked in girth, he more than made up for in length. 

“Are you enjoying Craig's cock, Kenny?” Tweek asked. Kenny noticed a slightly waver in his husky tone. For a split second he sounded like his old, slightly paranoid self. Almost like-

Craig gave a particularly hard thrust. “Answer him.”

“Oh, God, yes!” Kenny moaned. “Definitely enjoying this.”

“Tell me about it.”

Kenny felt fingers run through his hair as the bed dipped in front of him. He opened his eyes to see Tweek's face so close to his own. 

“Shit dude, it's like not too big but oh so long without being too much. It like perfect for long, deep thrusts.”

Kenny saw Tweek's eyes dart over his head. Craig must have made done something because Tweek rolled his eyes and focused back on Kenny. 

“Well your ass is so tight. It's like squeezing me.”

Kenny smiled and squeezed his muscles. Craig stilled inside of him.

“Teach me how to do that.”

Kenny didn't have time to make a snappy comeback. Tweek started clamming his mouth as his own. 

“Jesus fuck, you two.”

Tweek pulled out if the kiss. “No, I'm going to fuck you here in a minute.”

“But that-” Craig cut himself off.

Even through the lust filled haze, things clicked in Kenny's mind. He was not about to be played. 

“Why don't you let me suck on your cock.” Kenny whispered, his mouth mere inches from Tweek's.

“W-what?” The blonde stuttered. 

Kenny felt better about the situation. “Let me make you feel as good as I am Craig,” to emphasize his point, Kenny worked his anal muscles around Craig. “After all, it's only fair.”

Craig’s moans seemed to make up Tweek’s mind. He crawled on to the bed in front of Kenny, all confidence from earlier seemed to have disappeared. Kenny smiled and kissed the inside of Tweek’s thigh. Craig’s thrusting slowed down. Kenny knew it was because he was prepared to watch Kenny work.

The blonde smiled wickedly up at Tweek as he began to tease the man’s dick. His eyes fluttered and he gasped as Kenny licked him from base to tip. He ran his tongue around the tip a few times, teasingly, before Tweek seemed to come back into his dominice. 

“Suck.” He demanded. “Show me what that mouth was made for.”

Something was really hot about the normally nervous blonde taking control. The hands on his head made sure Kenny could only comply, but he was going to give him the best damn blow job of his life. 

“Describe it to me,” Craig said, giving his hips a shallow thrust. 

“Nn-gah! It's l-like he’s swallowing m-my dick.”

“Because I am.”

“D-don’t talk with y-your mouth full.”

Kenny chuckled. He could take both of them in his mouth, it wasn’t full. Still, he did as Tweek said and doubled his efforts on making the two men feel good. 

“Craig, why aren’t you f-”

“I can’t.” Craig interrupted. “If I move, I’m going to cum.”

“T-that would be a s-s-shame.” Tweek pulled Kenny off, and far enough up to kiss him. “Someday, I want to explore everything else that mouth can do.”

Tweek moved off the bed and out of Kenny’s line of sight. He got on his knees and pulled himself towards Craig, wrapping an arm behind the man’s head to hold himself up. He turned his head, capturing Craig’s lips with his own.

“Oh. That is hot.” Tweek’s face was suddenly really close to his own. “Really. Hot.”

Kenny broke his kiss as Craig thrusted forward. The look on the noirette’s face was pure bliss and the slight thrusts were all the hint’s Kenny was given to what Tweek was doing. Kenny did his best to kiss Tweek as he fingered his boyfriend’s ass.

“Fuck. Babe.”

Tweek, pulled out of the kiss. “Kenny, turnaround.”

“What?”

“Get off Craig’s dick, turn 180 degrees, and get back on.”

Kenny did as he was told. The smirk on Tweek’s face spoke volumes to Kenny. As he adjusted himself, prepared to take Craig back into him, Tweek whispered into Craig’s ear. Craig nodded and bent over Kenny. This time as he began to enter him, Tweek repaid the favor. A string of cuss words left Craig that made Kenny proud. He felt Tweek thrust his hips into Craig a few times before trusting hard.

“You wanna cum?” Tweek asked, kissing Craig’s shoulders.

“Yes.”

“Good.” Tweek pulled back a bit. “Fuck yourself then. And don’t forget to make Kenny feel good. His dick has been neglected.”

Craig whimpered but did as Tweek said. Kenny watched as he fucked himself on Tweek’s dick. He knew the sensation. To be the middleman in a fuck chain was a wonderful experience. But Craig wasn’t going to last long. And Kenny had a feeling, Tweek was just starting. 

“Harder.” Tweek demanded.

“I can’t. I’ll cum.”

Kenny smiled. “How about we level the playing field.”

Craig stopped moving, but a swat on the ass from Tweek fixed that. “How?”

“Well, Tweek, you are obviously nowhere near close.” The blonde shrugged and smacked Craig’s other cheek. “I have something that can bring you as close as we are.”

“Please do it.” Craig begged. He pushed back hard onto Tweek.

“F-fuck! Fine. As long as you keep doing that.”

Kenny grinned as he removed himself from Craig. He picked up his bag and grabbed the smallest butt plug. He felt it was safe to say Tweek had never bottomed, and this was going to stimulate a whole new part of him. He grabbed the lube from beside Tweek and give him an open mouth kiss. 

“You’re going to want to sit up, and make out with Craig for a bit.”

“W-what are you g-going to do?”

Tweek alternating between nervous and dominate was kind of adorable. Kenny could see why Craig and him were still together. 

“Don’t worry, it’s about to feel amazing.”

Tweek did as he said. He shocked both men when he pushed tweek forward a bit more. Kenny covered his index finger in lube and slowly drug it around the blonde’s asshole. He felt the blonde start to shake as he slowly inserted his finger. Kenny felt the bed move and knew Craig was riding Tweek’s dick a bit. When he felt the blonde could handle the small, thin plug, he removed his finger, covered it in lube, and slowly inserted it into Tweek’s asshole.

“How’s that feel?” Kenny asked as he moved the plug a bit.

“K-kinda nice. D-different, but nice.”

Proud of himself, Kenny, repositioned himself in front of Craig.

“Sit back a bit.” As the blonde did just that, he let out a low moan. “Craig. The fucking.”

Craig pulled his gaze off Tweek long enough to stick his dick back into Kenny. Kenny felt his legs being pulled over Craig’s shoulders by Tweek. That seemed to be a big hint to Craig who began fucking Kenny with everything he had. Kenny wrapped his own hand around his dick and began to stroke it. With how deep and hard Craig was thrusting, it wouldn’t take Kenny long to get off. 

A particularly hard thrust and change in positions caused Kenny to open his eyes. Kenny moved his hand before it was smashed between his and Craig’s bodies. Tweek started to thrust hard into Craig, all but using Craig’s body to fuck Kenny. The lust in the blonde’s eyes spoke more than the moans escaping their mouths.

Craig sloppily kissed Kenny, yet he still found it amazingly hot. The feel of his abs rubbing Kenny’s dick as Tweek caused him to thrust hard into his body brought Kenny closer and closer to orgasm, but he refused to go alone. He worked his muscles around Craig, hoping it would be the driving force behind his orgsm.

Instead, one word from Tweek, brought both of their worlds to an end. The demanding voice, barely higher than a whisper telling them to cum, was one experience, Kenny was never going to forget. He knew that one word would forever hold power over him, if Tweek ever felt like uttering it to him again in that way.

He knew the exact moment, Tweek came as it caused Craig to stop thrusting while fully embedded in him. The room was still as they slowly came down off their high.

***

**Hatorade**

“Tweek, honey…”

“T-there’s a thing in my ass.”

“Yes there is. How do you feel?”

“S-surprisingly g-good.” The blonde mumbled as he rest his full weight on Craig.

“Glad to hear that.” Kenny wheezed out, patting both men on the arm. “But can't breathe.”

Kenny was a little surprised when Craig pushed himself and Tweek, who was laying on his back, off Kenny. He quickly crawled out from underneath the noirette before the man lowered himself back on the bed.

Kenny stood and walked naked to his bag. He pulled out his usual bottle of Gatorade and looked at his phone. He had spent fifteen minutes longer than planned at the apartment, but it was fine. His next appointment was in three hours. Light snoring accompanied Kenny's chugging. He stopped and turned to the bed.

Neither man had moved. Tweek laid upon Craig as if he was a blanket for the taller man. Kenny admired the two for a moment, a slight pang of jealousy shot through his heart. They had something he didn't. 

“Don't pass out on me yet.” Kenny put the lid back on his bottle before dropping it into his bag. “You owe me $50.”

“For what?” Craig turned his head and glared at Kenny.

“Well, you only paid me for sex with one person.”

“And you only had sex with one.”

Kenny smiled. “I sucked Tweek’s dick. That’s two people.”

“Fine.” Craig gently slided out from underneath Tweek. He quickly took care of his own condom, before removing his boyfriend’s and throwing them both in the trash. Craig looked around the room for a moment before grabbing a pair of pants and pulling out a wallet. The noirette counted out some bills and paid the blonde. “It’s Tweek’s wallet so it's mostly small bills.”

Kenny just shrugged and took the money. “All spends the same to me.” 

They both turned to the sleeping blonde. The amount of love and respect Craig had for him, was almost sickening to Kenny. He had a feeling no one else ever really saw this side of the tough man.

“Keep the plug. You’re going to need it to ease him into the idea of being fucked. Maybe as you’re going down on him, finger him a bit as well.”

Craig narrowed his eyes at Kenny.

“Look, I’m not stupid.” Kenny put his hands up defensively. “Tweek is obviously afraid your long ass dick will hurt, and it might if you go to fast. He obviously needed to be shown that someone can take it. Ease him into it, and he will love it.”

Kenny winked at Craig before turning to find his cloths.

“What makes you so sure of that?”

In all the years Kenny had known the man, he had never heard the man express doubt in this way. He finished pulling on his pants and turned back to Craig.

“Dude, I was seriously just on that dick. It’s a good dick and you know how to use it. And when Tweek gets it, he’ll love it.” Kenny finished getting dressed as Craig crawled back into bed with his boyfriend. “If you guys wanna do this again sometime, you know who to call.” Without looking back, Kenny left the room and the apartment.

A hollow, empty feeling settled into Kenny’s chest as he made his way home. It happened every once and awhile when he saw people as in love as Craig and Tweek. He was bitter that with his current line of work, finding a potential lover would be impossible. Kenny drank the last of his gatorade and looked at the empty bottle in his hand. He had so much love to give and no one to give it to. 

Kenny all but slammed his door shut as he threw his keys onto the end table. His apartment felt empty after being with Tweek and Craig. He sighed as he went into his bedroom, throwing his bottle away as he passed the trash can. He tossed his bag on the bed and pulled out the cash Craig gave him. Even with the government taking 15% of his earnings, Kenny was still doing rather well for himself. He knew money was never going to fill any void left by a lack of companionship, but the sex and money was nice.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this. Feedback and comments are always welcome. It's like food for the soul!!


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